Guan says,in this little world,we can only depend on ourselves.I find it very true.
I'm currently suffering an emotional rollercoaster.So many things happened around me and it simply overwhelm me.I find it hard to fight back my tears when i'm experiencing one of those moments which no one could ever comprehend.Its a personal thing and different people felt it differently.Some may choose to ignore it so that they won't get hurt in return,others just simply feels that its silly and emo.Well at least i choose to do it alone by myself so that nobody would be affected by my incessant sobs and staring-into-space.
Well actually crying really helps to relieve all the tension in you.I'm feeling slightly better now.Sometimes i really don't know why things has to go one way or the other for me,and why things can go so smoothly for other individuals.Why others can be so afraid of authorities when i don't even give a damn about it.Why others choose to be optimistic all the times when there is a chance for them to be pessimistic for once.Why people choose to live in denial about their crush etc.I really don't understand those people.And they don't understand me too.I think we may never understand each other.
I want people to understand me.I think i'm a nice person.If you treat me good,i will treat you ten times better.But so far,there are few people whom i feel deserve those treatment from me.I feel more warmth from strangers than those so called friends sometimes.I feel that people whom are not closest to me(other than my family) cares more about me than others whom i always hang out with(an exception:the pw gang).They are the people who knows my life even though i don't divulge much to them and they are the ones that shows their care through their words and actions.Ironic,isn't it?
I'm going to the camp not because i agree with what choun eng(in fact i disagree with what she says and i sort of hate her now) says but because of Jennifer.I think she would be the only person i would be talking to for the whole camp.
